Could the conditioner my hair dresser use be to strong on my hair?

I must tell you I am African American with naturlly kinky hair. My hair dresser is always telling me to keep my hand out of my hair, so that my hair wont break for touching it. Like combing my hair with my fingers but sometimes my hair is alot of the time is just out of place. I believe the conditioner is the strong for my hair. Maybe thats why my hair isnt growing. Sometimes my mom will say ''I think she isnt washing that perm out of your head.'' Right now we just looking for it to grow and be long again. Its begining to be a whole more harder for me now to cuss my hairdresser out because she is kinda rude and jealous that i have NATURLY KINKY HAIR. She is just jealous. I also know that she like to talk, so I try not to say anything mean and just really really look over her. Could she be using somethings that is to strong on my hair. Could that be the reason my hair breaks and damaged!Could the conditioner my hair dresser use be to strong on my hair?
conditioner cant damage you hair that way or stop it growing so no